"I think this was one of the best experiences of my life"

Shakila (26) is from Iran. When she was 23, she came to the Netherlands and has been living in her own house for a year. She stayed with Liesbeth before that, who also shared her story.
Text: Sandra Looren de Jong

What was it like for you to live with a host family?
It was my first experience being with Dutch people. At the reception centre, all my interactions were for ‘service’: going to the doctor, asking questions at the reception, that sort of thing. You don’t have much contact with people from other countries in Iran. Going to Liesbeth’s house was a whole new experience for me. Before that I had never even really used English to talk to someone because most people around me were Iranian and I usually spoke Farsi. So that was a big challenge for me.

I didn’t really know what to expect, I was a bit nervous about that. In the beginning I learned much about cultural differences and many things that were new to me. I think this was one of the best experiences of my life, because these were steps that introduced me to a new society.

The Netherlands has courses for integration, such as NT2 (Dutch as a Second Language), for people from other countries. If they pass such a course, they are integrated into society. But I don’t think this is enough at all; you only learn the language up to a level that helps you in the supermarket, but you don’t really have a connection with Dutch people, and I think that’s important because if you want to live in a new country, you need a close connection with people from that country.

What was the most special about living with Liesbeth?
Liesbeth opened up to me and accepted me as I was. That meant a lot to me. I wanted to know things, I had so many questions. With Liesbeth, I could talk about anything and I could ask questions without wondering if it was okay to talk about it. That has helped me tremendously, also when I had my own house.

Do you still keep in touch with Liesbeth?
Yes, I love that. I have many young people around me that I have a good time with, but sometimes I feel like being with someone who gives me the feeling of family. If I feel the need to be with a family, I ask Liesbeth and we meet up. That really is a gift in my life because I still need it.

Is there something else you would like to share?
I think an organisation like Takecarebnb, that helps refugees from another country, is one of the good parts of the Netherlands. I hope that in the future, more can be arranged for people who don’t have a residence permit yet. It can help people and also society, because if they get their residence permit and become part of society and have less psychological problems, then they can contribute positively to society.